HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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