she was so not down for the gang bang
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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