Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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