Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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