My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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