oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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