Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
