I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
