I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize