Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
