Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
