his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize