is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
