I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
