a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
