Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
