you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
