I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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