i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize