It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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