chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
