haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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