I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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