I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
