can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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