I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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