Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
