No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
