My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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