Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
