I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
