What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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