i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
