try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
