saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
