Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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