You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
BRING THE BAGELS
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
