Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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