I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
