Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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