We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize