Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
