It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
