lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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