didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
