U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
