found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize