I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There r osticjed everywhere
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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