i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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