Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
