Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
