Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
