what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
it's like heaven, but drunker
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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