2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
