Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
