IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
